If Marriage does not teach you what love is, I do not know what will. Marriage and my relationship with my wife has taught me more about love than any other relationship. Marriage has brought my own understanding of love full circle. The intimacy of telling your spouse that you are going to spend the rest of your life together is transforming. You have chosen to love that person no matter what mood you are in or what they have done for you. I experience love more and more with Ashley each day, because I know that she chose to love me with all my flaws and imperfections. She loves me for my quirky ways and weird personality. There is so much comfort in life when you know your wife is committed to who you are. I too am committed to Ashley and love her for the same reasons. Sure we argue and I am still a stubborn human being, but being able to work through our differences together draws you closer together.

The marriage relationship and the commitment level is similar to our relationship with God. I feel as if I have a taste of the same intimacy that God wants to have with me. To be honest there is a fulfillment that comes from knowing that someone else has chosen to be with you for the rest of their life. I am proud to say that Ashley is my wife and I love her for the fact that she wants to be my wife. To know that no matter what happens to us in life, I know that she loves me.

So I ask you, What have relationships or marriage taught you about love? Have they taught you more about love or less?


David Henry said...

Good post Matt. I definitely agree on marriage. If you care about someone else and their well being you have to release your concerns about your own well being the the extent that you will care for another's. If we are in a relationship for our own benefit, it seems that it is only a matter of time before our selfish ways try to twist and shape the relationship to be more about ourselves. If this happens for too long, I'm convinced the marriage relationship will not work. Self-giving is the one thing I've seen that willing truly move a relationship deeper. I do like using the term self-giving rather than self-sacrifice, because it seems like I enjoy using the word sacrifice a little too much and can make myself a martyr instead of give what is good about me to my wife. Like, I sacrificed some reading time to do the dishes doesn't always seem the most loving or giving, even if it feels like a sacrifice, maybe it shouldn't if we look deep down an realize how much we love someone.

Good to hear from you. Did you get any of the books I mentioned on facebook?

Learning to Love said...


I love what you said about self-giving. It sounds more like a positive choice, and not a forced burden. I started reading another Personal Finance Book Rich Dad Poor Dad. Once I am finished I will look into the list you gave me. I think I might try some self-giving this week. It always helps the marriage. I guess eventually it might become natural if we practice it enough, but it seems in my human nature it is so unnatural.

tutatarabuela said...

I don't know much about love. I know what it feels like to break someone's heart and I know what it feels like to have my heart put through the wringer.

I am glad that you know about these things though. I think you're an alright guy. Also, if ashley ever leaves you, i will love you.

Learning to Love said...


I wouldn't say I fully know about love, but I do feel like I have experienced glimpses. The fullness of love is definitely expressed in a relationship.

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