Paralyzed By Shame

Our Pastor spoke about Shame this morning and it really challenged me. Shame can be paralyzing. Shame is not the same as guilt. Guilt is a feeling after you have done something wrong. Shame is the feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. What causes Shame? My pastor was saying that Shame comes from the Human need to feel valued. We should feel valued by God and find our worth in God, but more often than not, this is not the case in our lives. Our value comes from our Job, our appearance, our talents, and our friends and family. If any of these areas fail, our lives become shattered, and our sense of value begins to crumble.

A lot of my value comes from wanting to please those closest to me. I am afraid of failure. I want to please those around me and so in my quest for perfection I am scared to take risks. I do not want to take the wrong job, because I do not want to disappoint or make the wrong decision. I settle for good enough, in order to maintain my value. My inadequacies force me to try to earn value in other areas of my life. Fear of failing keeps me paralyzed, as I seek to please people. I need to know that someone needs me, or that I matter to someone, in order feel my worth.

Sure these feelings sound ridiculous, but we all feel inadequate, or below other people's standard. We allow those standards to paralyze us from really living. The truth is that we will never match up to these expectations, and that our sense of value will never be fulfilled. We are going to fail in some way at our job, in our marriage, and with our family.

Living without shame comes with a realization that God is our Redeemer and restorer. We are not perfect, but God has already made up for our imperfection. We are all sinners, but we all can be restored by God.

The Road to Restoration includes living lives free from Shame and finding value in the love of God. I am not trying to simplify life, because living without shame is not easy, but I desire to fully accept God's love for me. I need to be satisfied with that alone.

Off Line- Update on life.

Sorry everyone, I have not had access to the internet at my house for most of the week. The "Internet Guy", came this morning and fixed everything. Lots has happened this week that I must share. My sister and her husband celebrated their 10 year anniversary on Thursday. Isn't that crazy! I wonder what life will be like for Ashley and I in 10 years. Kids? Probably!

My youngest Niece turns 3 today. Happy Birthday Regan. My cousins David and Alyssa just found out that they were selected to adopt a 14 month old boy named Zachary. I could not be more excited for them. Ashley said she will be shopping for Zachary this weekend. My other cousin Whitnee is due to have her baby boy soon. So much is happening its hard to keep up with everything.

We got our Tax refund yesterday and My Bank account has never looked so full. It pumps me up, because now we can pay off our final credit card. God has definitely provided for Ashley and I. P.S. Ashley loves her job and is doing such an amazing job as a teacher. She works six days a week and is such a hard worker. I could not be more proud of her, and I love being her husband.

My other sister is now moving to Philadelphia, we are sad that she will be so far away, but now it gives us a reason to go visit.

I hope to take some pictures this weekend and post them on here. Hope all is well with you all.

Remodel and Restoration

Hey I wanted to just check in real quick and see what you think about my newly remodeled blog. All the thanks goes out to Punch Debt in the Face, Ninja helped me with the set up and design. As you can see I changed the name at the top. A little background to the name. I really feel like life is all about restoration. Many aspects of life are broken, and God really wants to restore us back to who He created us to be. I believe that I am here on Earth to Love and help in that restoration process. Restoration might be sought out by restoring Justice in Uganda, restoring peace in Sudan, or helping restore a broken family by offering support. This blog is also about my own life and my own journey towards restoration. Learning how to love, allowing others to love me, and believing that I am loved. Restoration is dependent upon a community of people seeking out the needs of others. I seek to help restore the lives of others in the way that I live. defines Restore as, "to bring back to a former, original, normal condition, as a building, statue, or painting." I want my life to reflect love, peace, friendship, justice, comfort, and hospitality. I hope to be apart of the restoration story and, I ask you to join me in this journey. I hope to learn with you, and grow with you.